I'm Rachel. I don't want to make this about "our infertility journey" or 'God's plan for our family" any of that religious/hippie bullshit. This isn't anyone's plan. This sucks. No one wants this. It's also not any kind of journey I want to be involved in.

I'm also not just an infertile 20-something. I like video games, puzzles, reading, my dawg. I like food, paperwork, and adventures. i write because it makes me feel better. I'm not just going to write about how unfair it is that I can't have kids with the love of my life but people drown their kids all the time. I'll also write about butts probably. I don't know. Don't hold me to it.

Here's our bullshit journey timeline or whatever (not included, all the waiting):

May or June 2013: Nick meets me after a work function. He says we should start trying for a baby. I double check with him about 20 times before I agree.

January 2014: We pass the "average couple is knocked up by now" mark. We move from Michigan to Washington.

July 2014: I see my doctor. She recommends Nick get tested. Results aren't great.

August 2014: We see a fertility specialist and learn of the possible paths we can take (I know all about these thanks to Julie at A Little Pregnant and Alexa Stevenson).

Some point thereafter: We take a ton of tests and do a lot more waiting.

April 2015: Nick goes to a urologist who puts him on clomid.

October 2015: We are officially diagnosed as infertile and someone says it out loud and whoof. Nick's numbers have only very slightly increased. Doctor recommends IVF with ICSI. The plan is to do the transfer in March which means drugs and appointments in February. It's finally happening. Maybe.